That's U-N-I-Q-U-E. According to my Peem, I'm a "Special Guy." That's right. I am special. Yeah. I am. Meem keeps saying that she's glad there's only one of me. Please. This world would be a much better place if populated by Special Cat Men. All Cat Men are Special, but I'm Super-Special. Do you want to know how Super-Special I am? Of course you do. So I'll provide some photographic evidence. Just in case you have any questions. But of course you won't. Why argue with me?
I am a work of art. My handsomeness cannot be defined in a few words, so I'll leave it to your imagination. Gaze upon my handsomeness and let poetry enter your soul:
I am super handsome.
I can't be boxed in. I will not be a slave to boundaries. I make my own rules. And this picture shows how 20 pound Healthy and Strong Cat Men can fit into my Meem's size 7 shoe box. Don't let boundaries win.
Boundaries? What boundaries?
I am the soul of kindness. Need I say more? Rainbows and butterflies soar through my veins. From my eyes all of the joy of the world shines. (*Editor's note: Um, what? You can't be serious. No, really. You can't). Shut up! This is my blog! I'm a prince, no, KING among cats. When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it.
Kindness is me. I am kindness.
I am an artistic genius. I am one of the greatest feline opera singers in the world. The power of my voice rattles the walls of our apartment. I should be one of the Three Tenors. I don't know why I'm not. Probably because my Peem and Meem are lazy. Someone should tell them to get me an agent. Now. I said NOW!
I have a velvety singing voice.
My Eye rival Sauron's. No further comment required. Just be careful, I'm watching you. (Editor's note: Run Frodo, run.)
"I see you."
I have kingly dignity and therefore wear a crown (on my collar). I'm still waiting for Meem to pick up my royal purple and gold fleur-de-lis collar. But I don't need a collar to prove my Kinglyness. I am King of the family. King of the food bowl. King of the world. King of the universe. King. Period.
Don't argue with the King.
And finally, I glow. I am a Super-Special Cat Man who is a King, an all-knowing Eye, an Artistic Genius whose Kindness and Handsomeness knows no Boundaries. Now you know exactly how UNIQUE I am.
Have you ever seen such perfection?
(Editor's note: Well, I guess this makes up for not posting for so long. The Wrath of Smeege is horrifying to endure. Of course, typing all of this modesty does make one want to vomit).
2 comments:
i have never seen such perfection. i hope one day that my cat maybe a small speck of you.
Thank you for your warm regards. If your cat practices his kingliness daily, he might come close to my perfection. Someday. Maybe. We'll see. No promises.
-Smeege.
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