My favorite time of the day.I keep hearing all of these comments about my "weight." Things like "fatboy," "moose," "chunk," "chubby-bubby," "tank," and "go-rilla." I don't just hear it from my Peem and Meem, but from total strangers. Like they have the right to comment on ME.
So, last week, I was sitting in the computer room window, enjoying the breeze and watching all of the human slaves driving by in their cars (in their daily drive-by parade in honor of me).
I love the daily honor parade. For ME.
Just then this old couple walked by and noticed me. Of course they noticed me, I'm very impressive and worthy of notice. Just when I thought they were going to discuss my regal demeanor, instead this is what I hear:
Old Lady: "Look at the size of him!"
Old Man: "Oh, he's a BIG one!!"
"Excuse ME??"
Peem, who witnessed this travesty, began to laugh, because he's insensitive. Still laughing, he ran into the living room to tell Meem, who also began to laugh. Instead of laughing at this insult to my dignity, they should have ran outside and told those rude jerks that I'm not "BIG" but Strong. And Healthy. But they didn't. Because they suck.
The next day, when Meem was unlocking the front door after she got home from work, she was stopped by two neighbor girls. The girls told Meem that they liked her cats. Meem asked which cat was their favorite (as if she had to ask, of course it's me), and both girls replied:
This. Is. Bullshit. Let's get something straight. There is a difference between "fat" and "Strong and Healthy." I am not fat. Cat men are never fat. We are all strong boys. We eat all the time so that we can defend our human families. Why don't you get this?!? Since humans seem to have difficulties with this concept, I will provide you with some visual representations of "Strong and Healthy" cat men:
STRONG.
HEALTHY.
HEALTHY and STRONG.
Of course, the most handsome of the "Strong and Healthy" cat men is last. The best always comes last:
So, last week, I was sitting in the computer room window, enjoying the breeze and watching all of the human slaves driving by in their cars (in their daily drive-by parade in honor of me).
I love the daily honor parade. For ME.Just then this old couple walked by and noticed me. Of course they noticed me, I'm very impressive and worthy of notice. Just when I thought they were going to discuss my regal demeanor, instead this is what I hear:
Old Lady: "Look at the size of him!"
Old Man: "Oh, he's a BIG one!!"
"Excuse ME??"Peem, who witnessed this travesty, began to laugh, because he's insensitive. Still laughing, he ran into the living room to tell Meem, who also began to laugh. Instead of laughing at this insult to my dignity, they should have ran outside and told those rude jerks that I'm not "BIG" but Strong. And Healthy. But they didn't. Because they suck.
The next day, when Meem was unlocking the front door after she got home from work, she was stopped by two neighbor girls. The girls told Meem that they liked her cats. Meem asked which cat was their favorite (as if she had to ask, of course it's me), and both girls replied:
"We like the BIG, FAT one!!"
This. Is. Bullshit. Let's get something straight. There is a difference between "fat" and "Strong and Healthy." I am not fat. Cat men are never fat. We are all strong boys. We eat all the time so that we can defend our human families. Why don't you get this?!? Since humans seem to have difficulties with this concept, I will provide you with some visual representations of "Strong and Healthy" cat men:
STRONG.
HEALTHY.
HEALTHY and STRONG.
Of course, the most handsome of the "Strong and Healthy" cat men is last. The best always comes last:
And that's me.
4 comments:
Yes, you are strong and healthy...haha!
Strong and Healthy is a lifestyle choice. It's the only way to be. You'll agree when you finally meet me.
-Smeege.
Smeege, where are you? You have been MIA for awhile. Are you eating?
Meem and Peem suck. I will yell at them to post.
-Smeege.
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