That's my philosophy. I have a list of things that equal bullshit. Like baths. Any treats except for Greenies. When I don't have ice cubes in my water or when Peem* says I have coobs*. When the windowsill is too narrow and I can't jump onto it. All this is bullshit. And it needs to change. This is why I am having Meem* type all of this for me. Everyone needs to know what needs to change.
Cats don't need baths. We're clean. I'm clean. I don't know why they give me a bath once a month. It's bullshit. And I should always have ice cubes in my water. Ice cubes are cool. I like to hear them crackle. I like cold water. And I don't have coobs. I'm a cat man. I'm big boned and strong. Big strong cat men don't have coobs. Big strong cat men don't fall off windowsills. The windowsills need to be wider. That's all. The bullshit needs to end. Pay attention.
**Editor's note: Peem is the Smeege's male servant. Meem is his female servant. Coobs are cat boobs. The Smeege is, how shall we say...husky. He also has pink skin. Hence, when he sits a certain way, it looks as though he has boobs. Obviously, he doesn't share our views. All of the Smeege's views in this blog are his own. If you disagree with his sentiments, try living with him.
Also, the Smeege smells. He's rank. That is why he gets bathed once a month. If he'd take care of his posterior, we wouldn't gag when he passes by and he wouldn't have to have a bath. Besides, he likes to walk around the bathtub during his bath and is as happy as a clam for a week afterwards. Don't let him fool you.
-The Editors
Cats don't need baths. We're clean. I'm clean. I don't know why they give me a bath once a month. It's bullshit. And I should always have ice cubes in my water. Ice cubes are cool. I like to hear them crackle. I like cold water. And I don't have coobs. I'm a cat man. I'm big boned and strong. Big strong cat men don't have coobs. Big strong cat men don't fall off windowsills. The windowsills need to be wider. That's all. The bullshit needs to end. Pay attention.
**Editor's note: Peem is the Smeege's male servant. Meem is his female servant. Coobs are cat boobs. The Smeege is, how shall we say...husky. He also has pink skin. Hence, when he sits a certain way, it looks as though he has boobs. Obviously, he doesn't share our views. All of the Smeege's views in this blog are his own. If you disagree with his sentiments, try living with him.
Also, the Smeege smells. He's rank. That is why he gets bathed once a month. If he'd take care of his posterior, we wouldn't gag when he passes by and he wouldn't have to have a bath. Besides, he likes to walk around the bathtub during his bath and is as happy as a clam for a week afterwards. Don't let him fool you.
-The Editors
No comments:
Post a Comment